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The 25 Best Wii U Games (Top 20)

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20. Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker

It would be a rare Super Mario 3D World fan that didn’t enjoy the clever Captain Toad puzzles, distractions that served as a nice break from the brilliant platforming en route to Bowser’s castle, and those who thought the jump-less little guy deserved his own adorable game got their wish with Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker. Instead of amassing green stars, the leader of the Toad Brigade is out to enhance his personal wealth by collecting the many diamonds tucked away in hidden spots across the various levels. Along the way, he feuds with a giant bird, shoots turnips from a mine cart, and generally runs away from everyone and everything. It’s a grand adventure on a smaller scale, the perfect low-key spinoff for the cowering fortune-seeker.

Nintendo has always been adept at wringing the most out of whatever gameplay concepts they come up with, and though things start out easy enough, to begin with, the puzzle makers come up some devilishly tricky courses for Captain Toad and his lady friend, Toadette, to explore. Most of these are contained within diorama-like stages, each of which must be rotated to gain different perspectives and discover the secrets stashed away in every nook and cranny. The “aha” moments this elicits are satisfying, and finding the best (or sometimes only) way for the stubby-legged Captain to waddle his way through a mess of shy guys or hard-charging Chucks on the way to that precious, precious jewel is never less than engaging. The winsome visuals certainly contribute to the delight, with bright Nintendo colors popping off the screen and fuzzy textures that look soft enough to snuggle up next to. The whole game emits such a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere that even when actual dexterity is required, and the grounded pipsqueak demonstrates why he isn’t the beloved star of the Mario games, players’ smiles are unlikely to fade for long. Hopefully neither will Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker. (Patrick Murphy)

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19. New Super Luigi U

Constructed from the same assets used to create New Super Mario Bros. U, New Super Luigi U feels instantly familiar to any Mario veteran who plays it. Besides the introduction of Nabbit in multiplayer, the gameplay, enemies, and world themes are all identical. However, one key difference cemented this game as more than just an interesting take on the traditional Mario formula: the introduction of a 100 second time limit.

Not only did this repurpose a criminally underused element in the Mario series, the stage timer, but it also injected a much-needed sense of difficulty into a series more known for placating newcomers than challenging veterans of the series. That key change, coupled with Luigi’s fundamentally different physics, produces a game not seen before and not seen since in the Mario series. The player has to think like a speedrunner, plotting out a path ahead of them and eliminating unnecessary elements of the run in order to successfully complete the level. New Super Luigi U succeeds by teaching Mario players to fundamentally rethink the way they approach levels. Even while reusing the same assets, it manages to craft an experience so ubiquitously Luigi-esque and difficult that it’s a shame such creativity isn’t evident in every entry in the Mario series. (Izsak Barnette)

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18. New Super Mario Bros. U

Released as a launch title for the Wii U in late 2012, New Super Mario Bros. U seemed destined to disappoint gamers eagerly awaiting a third entry in the Super Mario Galaxy series. As the fourth New Super Mario Bros. game in six years and with the least amount of new content, New Super Mario Bros. U has faced an uphill battle to gain the recognition that it rightfully deserves. Shunned by the public and decried by gamers as Nintendo simply cashing in on existing assets, New Super Mario Bros. U is well worth the time and energy it takes to recognize its greatness.

While it may lack originality, New Super Mario Bros. U more than makes up for it by executing what is perhaps Mario’s most tightly constructed 2D platforming adventure yet. Balancing expertly the scales of difficulty and accessibility, the game manages to appeal to newcomers and veterans alike, and the Star Coin challenges are some of the finest in the New Super Mario Bros. series. That, coupled with a truly beautiful HD, sixty fps presentation, cement this as not only the best traditional New Super Mario Bros. game, but also one of the Wii U’s best outings. (Izsak Barnette)

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17. Yoshi’s Wooly World

Few games are as capable of representing their publishers as well as Yoshi’s Wooly World represents Nintendo. Charm, creativity, and a love for pure fun define this most recent installment in the Yoshi series. Developer Good-Feel delivered on an interesting new Yoshi concept that, instead of attempting to imitate past Yoshi’s Island games, stands out boldly. Despite utilizing the yarn motif previously seen in Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Yoshi’s Wooly World still manages to find means by which to continually impress the player and showcase what is perhaps the most well-crafted, or perhaps well-knitted, art style this side of Paper Mario: Color Splash.

Cleverly challenging levels, brilliant yarn mechanics, and a fun, family-friendly atmosphere all compound what is one of Nintendo’s most well-executed game concepts in recent memory. Running at a brisk sixty frames per second and rendered lovingly in high definition, there is perhaps no other game on the Wii U that looks as good as Yoshi’s Wooly World when it is in motion. From the meticulous design of the enemies to the incredible texture work that makes the game feel like it’s made out of yarn, Yoshi’s Wooly World is a poignant reminder that in the world of squabbles over 4K and graphical fidelity, execution matters more than anything else. (Izsak Barnette)

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16. Axiom Verge

A nostalgia-inducing experience inspired by the NES classic Metroid. Thomas Happ Games combined Metroid with elements of other retro games, such as Contra and Bionic Commander, sharpened its teeth with more weaponry, and created amazing boss battles that recrudesce moments from our childhood. A chaotic storyline serves to flesh out an explorational challenge across the high-tech world of Sudra, leaving you sometimes lost and vulnerable, without a clear path to completion. The endless pursuit of more power to find the hidden pathways stumbles you through some beautifully designed settings, that only confirm that retro style games still have a place in the 21st century. (James Baker)

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15. Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE

What makes Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE so special is the fact that it merges two of Japan’s biggest RPG franchises, Fire Emblem and Shin Megami Tensei. Both series have had success on Nintendo consoles, and watching them come together masterfully in one game is something truly special.

The story of Tokyo Mirage Sessions is, at its core, very reminiscent of previous Atlus titles, with a focus on teens, relationships, and otherworldly monsters and demons.  However, Fire Emblem‘s hand in the narrative is never put in second place, as both franchises share the spotlight. Fan favorites like Chrom and Tharja make appearances as the protagonists summon, or as they’re called in the game, mirages. These mirages help develop the plot as well as provide an interesting dynamic in combat. What’s more, the game’s focus on pop stars and the entertainment industry means that every attack is attached to some dance move or musical note. This creates a vibrant, exciting, and engaging battle system that is both unfamiliar and oddly reminiscent of previous Atlus RPGs.

As with the Fire Emblem franchise, crafting and acquiring new gear both play pivotal roles in progressing through Tokyo Mirage Sessions. This also allows the player to tailor their team’s combat skills to their liking. Every member of the player’s party fights differently, but by utilizing newfound gear and abilities, the characters can play off each others’ strengths and weaknesses.

As with most Japanese RPGs, Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE takes a decent amount of time to get into, but the slog through the first few hours is well worth what comes after. With a diverse cast of characters and the intriguing backdrop of the Japanese entertainment industry, it’s hard for Mirage Sessions to disappoint.

Atlus truly struck gold with Tokyo Mirage Sessions.  The combat is intuitive and enjoyable, the story is exciting and intriguing, and the gameplay works just as well as any of Atlus’s other titles.  What’s more, the near endless item and ability customizations and team combinations ensure that the player will always have something to draw them back in.  If nothing else, Mirage Sessions is a fantastic appetizer to Atlus’s next big release, the long awaited Persona 5. (Carston Carasella)

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14. Mario Kart 8

Despite being an old dog with few new tricks, the Mario Kart formula is inherently fun, still consistently entertaining after all these years, and while Mario Kart 8 doesn’t try to shake anything up too much, it refines those elements to create one of the best entries the franchise has to offer. Building upon successful elements of its predecessors, Mario Kart 8 delivers a slew of fantastic courses, half new and half remastered from previous titles, each designed to perfection and shown off via some of the most beautiful visuals to be found on the Wii U, or anywhere else. Thanks to a seemingly endless amount of customization available for karts, power sliding through the deliciously caked roads of Sweet Sweet Canyon or across the neon keys of the Electrodrome feels as smooth as silk, and new anti-gravity boosts help turn an otherwise fairly superficial addition into something strategic.

Any tactical advantage will be necessary when going head to head with the top drivers in Mario Kart 8‘s robust online community, even with the sometimes crazy nature of lead changes the series is known for. Luckily, a local friend can be brought along to help (or fire a red shell into your back), extending the options for couch co-op and highlighting even more what makes Mario Kart so special: local multiplayer. Using lightning to shrink up to three of your pals, then mercilessly running them over and seeing their obscenity-laced reactions because they’re actually in the same room doesn’t get any better. This party aspect remains a huge part of why the franchise has had such lasting appeal after seven sequels, and the near-flawless experience provided here surely guarantees that streak will continue. Gorgeous, precise, maddening, joyous, with one of the catchiest soundtracks around and incredible DLC, it’s no wonder that Mario Kart 8 is one of the best games on the Wii U. (Patrick Murphy)

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13. Xenoblade Chronicles X

When Xenoblade Chronicles X was originally announced for Wii U, I didn’t know what to think of it. It struck a chord with me with its open world, sleek mechs, and Monster Hunter vibes, but nowadays you never know if a game this ambitious can match the hype. Little did I know that it would become my favourite game of all time.

Xenoblade Chronicles X has a lot going for it. The world of Mira is as large as it is mysterious. Even after hundreds of hours, I still discover new secrets every time I wonder out into the wilderness. The environments can be breathtaking, oppressive, or utterly confusing; it truly feels like an alien world. The cast of playable characters is large, full of unique personalities and relationships. The soundtrack is one of composer Hiroyuki Sawano’s best and has a distinctly alien feel to it. It crosses several genres and languages, giving a varied box of hits that are great on their own but come together to form an outstanding package. Not to mention, its battle system is incredibly satisfying once you get to grips with it, especially when Skells are introduced.

Sadly, this game isn’t exactly the most beginner-friendly. Anyone new to JRPGs will quickly find themselves lost and confused, and some of the songs take time to grow on you. The game is a great experience if you love to get lost in a world and enjoy figuring things out for yourself, but if you’re into more guided experiences, Xenoblade Chronicles X will rub you the wrong way. The extensive amount of work taken to earn and maintain Skells may also turn off less dedicated players.

There’s a lot of conflicting opinions on whether Xenoblade Chronicles X can be said to match up to or surpass its Wii predecessor, but either way, it is an experience you won’t get anywhere else, and one of the best games the Wii U has to offer. (Ade Adeoye)

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12. The Wonderful 101

Few games symbolize the Wii U experience better than The Wonderful 101. Charming in its joyful exuberance, yet occasionally clunky in execution, this gonzo action-spectacular from Platinum Games tries a bit of everything, assaulting the player with eye-popping sensory overload while experimenting with a variety of gameplay options made possible by the gamepad. Inspired by tokusatsu, the story has players in control of an ever-expanding team of color-coded superheroes known as The Wonderful 100 (guess who the extra hero is), each with a special power that allows them all to unite like Voltron into a larger form, usually a powerful weapon of some sort, and take on the bad guys. When a race of hilariously evil lizard aliens (cheesily named GEATH JERK) attempts to invade Earth, the United Nations secret service, CENTINELS, tasks a mild-mannered school teacher also known as Wonder Red with leading the group in defense of a planet under siege.

The main draw of The Wonderful 101 is the sheer zaniness of it all, with epic battles against armies of giant robots laying waste to isometric cityscapes by blowing up everything they come across in truly spectacular fashion, panicked citizens fleeing like ants in every direction who must be corralled and rescued, and outrageous set piece after outrageous set piece, from leading kids through a train of flaming school buses under attack by a mechanized three-headed dragon, to getting shrunk and going full-on Innerspace before squashing a malicious bug atop a keyboard. It’s as weird to describe as it is to play, but the fun Platinum clearly had making this game is infectious. Heroes and villains are portrayed in such slapstick broadness that even silly stereotypes can elicit a grin, and dialogue is a nice combination of stupid and witty. The action suffers some from awkward symbol drawing that doesn’t work smoothly no matter how one does it, and when the camera switches to the gamepad it’s easy to get lost, but at least The Wonderful 101 tries for something new, even if it doesn’t always succeed with flying superhero colors. With a full complement of characters onscreen, the chaos can sometimes be overwhelming, but those having problems with the sometimes finicky touch controls or Bayonetta-like combos can simply tone down the difficulty level and enjoy the dazzling fireworks show. For fans of B-movie inanity it’s completely worth it. (Patrick Murphy)

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11. Pokkén Tournament

Whether you’re in it to catch ‘em all, battle to be the best like no one ever was, or simply love the world, the lasting impact of the infinitely popular game series Pokémon can’t be understated. However, the turn-based RPG nature of the games leaves a lot to the imagination when considering Pokémon battles. Don’t get me wrong; I love the turn-based battle mechanics central to the main series titles. However, the concept of a Pokémon fighting game where players could control their favorite Pokémon in bouts for glory has long been dreamed of, and it’s surprising that it took so long for that to appear. The wait, however, was worth it. Pokkén Tournament, from the makers of the popular fighting franchise, Tekken, not only fulfills a long term wish of Poké-fanatics, but is a brilliantly novel new fighter, apart from the Pokémon brand but all the more brilliant for its clever fan service and celebration of the franchise. At the game’s core is a colorful cast of Pocket Monsters comprised of fan favorites and a blend of the franchise’s many types of Pokémon. Each Pokémon has its own unique move set, despite being grouped into one of four categories of fighter: Standard, Power, Technical, or Speed, types assigned to give a general impression of how the character will play. Despite having a roster of fourteen totally unique characters, and two variations of featured Pokémon that play completely differently than the Pokémon they’re based on, Pokkén is remarkable for its overall balance and ease of use. Mastery of its unique characteristics, however, will separate the simple trainer from the Pokémon Master.

Most notably, Pokkén Tournament features two different styles of battle in a single match. The first, Field Phase, is a free range, 3D arena mode where players can traverse the entire map. Dual Phase plays more like a standard 2D fighter. Both phases impact character move sets and play to character strengths differently, and only by landing a heavy hit can a player shift phases. Consequently, mastery means having a handle on a Pokémon’s move set regardless of phase. Fairly unique to fighters, Pokkén Tournament also features Support Sets, duos of Pokémon that can be summoned once a specific meter has been filled. These support Pokémon feature varying charge times and abilities, and provide an interesting level of strategy, as only one Pokémon can be selected per round, while the other will be fully ready for the following round, providing a decent amount of strategy and plotting on the part of the player. The game also features a Synergy Meter that allows Pokémon to unleash a special move or transformation when ready, and feature some fantastically designed cut scenes when these moves are pulled off. The result of all of this is a diverse fighter featuring some of the most recognizable Pokémon around, enjoyable fighting mechanics and gameplay including a sort of rock, paper, scissors take on different move types, exciting special moves, fun supports, and an incredibly unique phase system to keep players on their toes. Pokkén Tournament is a fun fighting diversion for fans of the franchise, and a refreshing fighting escapade for fans of the genre craving something new. (Tim Maison)

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Humans by birth. Gamers by choice. Goomba Stomp is a Canadian web publication that has been independently owned and operated since its inception in 2016.

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‘Coffee Talk’ Review: The Best Brew in Town

Coffee Talk is as quaint as your local coffee shop. It’s relatively short, wonderfully sweet, and absolutely committed to the art form of telling a story through a video game screen.

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It’s 9:00pm. The rain just started coming down softly a few minutes ago, and the street outside is reflecting the lights above it. Neon signs shine brightly in the distance, although it’s hard to make out the words. You unlock the doors to the coffee shop and wipe down the counters in order to get them clean for the customers. The rain makes a soft sound as it hits the glass and passerby speed up their walking pace to avoid it. The bells chime as a tall, green orc walks in and sits down at your table in silence. You wonder what their story is…

I wanted to set the tone for this review because of how important atmosphere and audio/visual design is in the world of Coffee Talk. While it’s easy to boil the game down as a visual novel-type experience, it’s honestly so much more than that. A unique cast of characters, incredible user interface, and a mysterious protagonist combine to form the most enjoyable experience I’ve had this year on Switch.

Coffee Talk
Some of the subject matter can be pretty serious in nature…

Coffee Talk is beautiful because of how simple it is. The entire game takes place within a single coffee shop. As the barista, you’re tasked with making drinks for the patrons of the shop as well as making conversations with them. The twist is that earth is populated with creatures like orcs, werewolves, and succubi. The relationship between the various races is handled very well throughout the story, and some interesting parallels are made to the real world.

Making drinks is as simple as putting together a combination of three ingredients and hitting the ‘Serve’ button. If a unique drink is made, it will be added to a recipe list that can be referenced on the barista’s cell phone. This is where the awesome user interface comes in, as the phone has a series of apps that can be accessed at any moment in the game. One app houses your recipe list, another acts as a facebook for the characters in the game, one allows you to switch between songs, and the other houses a series of short stories that one of the characters in the game writes as it progresses. It’s one of the coolest parts of the whole experience and helps it stand out from other games in the genre.

Coffee Talk is as quaint as your local coffee shop. It’s relatively short, wonderfully sweet, and absolutely committed to the art form of telling a story through a video game screen.

Coffee Talk cycles between talking with customers and making drinks for them. In the beginning, they will ask for basic beverages that can be brewed on the fly. Later on however, they may ask for a specific type of drink that has a unique title. These drinks often have certain descriptive features that hint at other possibilities in terms of unique dialogue. If the wrong drink is made, you’ll have five chances to trash it and make a new one. If the wrong drink is made, don’t expect the customer to be pleased about it.

The gameplay really is not the focus here though; it’s the characters and their stories that take center stage. An elf with relationship issues, a writer that can’t seem to pin down her next story, and an alien whose sole goal is to mate with an earthling are just a few of the examples of the characters you’ll meet during the story. There are tons of memorable moments throughout Coffee Talk, with every character bringing something unique to the table. The barista develops an interesting relationship with many of these characters as well.

Coffee Talk
Appearances can often be deceiving in this game.

Even though serving the wrong drinks can change some of the dialogue, don’t expect any sort of options or branching paths in terms of the story. It’s not that kind of experience; the story should simply be enjoyed for what it is. I found myself glued to the screen at the end of each of the in-game days, waiting to see what would happen in the morning. The first playthrough also doesn’t answer all of the game’s questions, as the second one is filled with all kinds of surprises that I won’t spoil here.


Coffee Talk is as quaint as your local coffee shop. It’s relatively short, wonderfully sweet, and absolutely committed to the art form of telling a story through a video game screen. It’s an easy recommendation for anyone who loves video games, not just visual novel fans. There are characters in the game that I’ll certainly be thinking about for a long time, especially when the setting brings out the best in them. Don’t pass this one up.

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The Magic of Nintendo: How Mario and Zelda Connect us to Our Inner Child

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Magic of Nintendo

Nintendo is special. Many excellent developers depend upon story or progression systems to entice engagement, but not Nintendo. Nintendo games captivate because of their immediate charm. There is no need for a payoff. The games, themselves, are enough: they elicit feelings, hard to find in adulthood. Through intrepid discovery, playful presentation, and unfiltered whimsy, the best of Nintendo connects gamers to their childlike selves.

The heart of any great Nintendo game is discovery and no encounter encapsulates this better than Breath of the Wild’s Eventide Island. First, finding the island requires genuine gumption. Found far from Hyrule’s shore, the island is only clearly visible from other islands, and even then, it’s only a speck in the distance. Reaching the island requires players to brave the open ocean and head towards something … that could be nothing. Then, upon arriving on the beach, a spirit takes all the player’s gear, including clothes and food. Link, literally, is left in his underwear. From there, players must make clever use of Link’s base skills in order to steal enemy weapons and make traps. The scenario creates a marvelous sense of self-sufficiency brought on by one’s own desire to discover. The player comes to the island purely of their own choosing, tackles the sea, and then overcomes obstacles without the aid of their strongest tools. The game turns players into plucky children who are discovering they can take care of themselves.

The intrepidity of Breath of the Wild and other Nintendo greats mirrors the feelings Shigeru Miyamoto, the father of many Nintendo franchises, experienced as a child. “I can still recall the kind of sensation I had when I was in a small river, and I was searching with my hands beneath a rock, and something hit my finger, and I noticed it was a fish,” Miyamoto told the New Yorker. “That’s something that I just can’t express in words. It’s such an unusual situation.” In sequences like Eventide Island, players don’t just understand what Miyamoto describes, they feel it: Apprehension gives way to exhilaration as the unknown becomes a place of play.

 Nintendo’s intrepid gameplay is often amplified by playful presentation with Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island being the quintessential example. The game’s visuals, defined by pastel colors and simple hand-drawings, appear crayoned by a child while the celestial chimes that punctuate the jubilant soundtrack evoke shooting stars. The overall effect cannot be understated. It takes the surreal and turns it real, allowing players to interact, tangibly, with imagination.

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Even if one removes the presentation and gameplay from Nintendo’s masterpieces, an unabashed creativity remains that bucks norm and convention. The arbiter is fun; reason and logic have no say. For instance, Super Mario Odyssey’s Wooded Kingdom, takes place in a post-apocalyptic setting akin to Nier Automata. Players explore the metal remnants of a civilization that has become a lush home to robotic beings. However, unlike Nier, the dark undertones of the past have no bearing on the game or those who inhabit its universe. The post-apocalyptic setting is just a fun backdrop. It’s as though a bunch of children got together, began playing with toys, and one of the kids brought along his sibling’s adult action figures. There is no attention paid to the context, only unfiltered imagination.

When they’re at their best the creators at Nintendo invite gamers to come and play, like a parent arranging a play date. Pulled along by joyful gameplay that expands in unforeseen ways, players desire to play for the sake of play. It’s a halcyon state of being: No messy thoughts or contradiction, just joy.

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‘Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind’: An Utterly Shameless Cash Grab

Coming in at a $40 price point (!!!) Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind offers an 80% recycled campaign, a boss rush mode, and some other trash.

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Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind

In the 15 year long history of DLC, we have seen some really shameless displays. The notorious horse armor incident of 2006 and a notable day one DLC for the ending game of a trilogy notwithstanding, few companies have had the utter audacity to offer so little content for such a high price point. Enter Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind.

Coming in at a $40 price point (!!!) Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind offers an 80% recycled campaign, a boss rush mode, and some social media nonsense for people who really hate themselves. That’s really it, that’s what you get. Honestly, Square-Enix should be utterly embarrassed by this DLC.

It’s been one year: 365 days, 8760 hours, 525600 minutes, or 31556952 seconds, since the release of Kingdom Hearts III. Let that sink in as you begin the meat of Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind. Think of it as the extended version of a movie you really like… you know, the kind where they add 4 minutes to the 120 minute runtime.

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind

Yes, Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind, really is that cynical. I’m not kidding when I tell you that the game literally starts with an exact cut scene from the base game, and a cut scene that happens to be available from the theater mode of the main game that you’ve already bought if you’re playing this DLC. Yes, the introduction to this new content is… content you’ve already seen.

In fact, that’s kind of the sticking point here: most of what you get for your hard-earned cash is footage you’ve already seen, and battles you’ve already fought, and story you’ve already experienced, just with slight alterations for context. Remember back in the 2000s, when we were super obsessed with prequels? This is like that, except even more egregious.

Generally I’m not so unforgiving as to call a company out for a forthright cash grab, but that’s absolutely what Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind is. There’s just no other way to put it. You might find someone in the marketing department for Square-Enix who would disagree, but being a company that has faced just these sort of allegations for their last two major releases, Square-Enix either doesn’t read the news, or doesn’t care what people think of their products.

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind

Square-Enix was roundly accused of shipping unfinished products in the case of both Final Fantasy XV and Kingdom Hearts III — their two most high profile releases of the last decade. I personally gave mostly positive reviews of both games for this very website but if you want ammo to suggest that this company is deliberately trading on the nostalgia and passion of its fan base in order to make financial headway, there are few examples you could draw from that are as obvious as this DLC.

Look, maybe you’re a really big Kingdom Hearts fan. Maybe you just really wanted to know what the context was for that cliffhanger ending in Kingdom Hearts III. Maybe you just don’t do much research before you buy something. Or maybe… you just really trust this company for some reason.

Hey, I’m not judging… hell, I bought this DLC for $40 same as anyone else. I oughta be honest that I’m not reviewing Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind as some holier than thou critic, talking down to you from my position of privilege. No, I’m an angry consumer in this particular case. I’m a person who spent enough to replace a flat tire on my car, or buy my family dinner, on a game that is clearly playing off of my love for a franchise, and using it to bilk me out of money in a method that is so clear, and so concise, that those involved in the entire endeavor should be totally embarrassed for their part in the creation, marketing, pricing, and distribution of this expansion.

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind

Yes, fans had their complaints about Kingdom Hearts III. “Where are the hardcore boss battles? Where are the Final Fantasy characters? Where are the secret areas? Where are the hidden plot developments?” Still, to address these particular complaints by hammering a few minutes or seconds here and there into already existing content is truly like spitting in the faces of the people who have built the house you’re living in.

I haven’t sat in the board rooms at Square-Enix and I haven’t been in email chains about the planning of projects at their company but what I can say is that there is something rotten in Denmark if this is what passes for a satisfying piece of content for the wildly devoted fans of a hugely popular franchise in 2020. Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind is literally, truthfully, and succinctly, the worst piece of DLC I’ve ever purchased.

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