Connect with us

Features

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind: An Utterly Shameless Cash Grab

Coming in at a $40 price point (!!!) Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind offers an 80% recycled campaign, a boss rush mode, and some other trash.

Published

on

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind Review

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind Review

In the 15-year-long history of DLC, we have seen some really shameless displays. The notorious horse armor incident of 2006 and a notable day one DLC for the ending game of a trilogy notwithstanding, few companies have had the utter audacity to offer so little content for such a high price point. Enter Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind.

Coming in at a $40 price point (!!!) Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind offers an 80% recycled campaign, a boss rush mode, and some social media nonsense for people who really hate themselves. That’s really it, that’s what you get. Honestly, Square-Enix should be utterly embarrassed by this DLC.

It’s been one year: 365 days, 8760 hours, 525600 minutes, or 31556952 seconds, since the release of Kingdom Hearts III. Let that sink in as you begin the meat of Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind. Think of it as the extended version of a movie you really like… you know, the kind where they add 4 minutes to the 120-minute runtime.

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind
Image: Square-Enix

Yes, Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind, really is that cynical. I’m not kidding when I tell you that the game literally starts with an exact cut scene from the base game, and a cut scene that happens to be available from the theater mode of the main game that you’ve already bought if you’re playing this DLC. Yes, the introduction to this new content is… content you’ve already seen.

In fact, that’s kind of the sticking point here: most of what you get for your hard-earned cash is footage you’ve already seen, and battles you’ve already fought, and story you’ve already experienced, just with slight alterations for context. Remember back in the 2000s, when we were super obsessed with prequels? This is like that, except even more egregious.

Generally, I’m not so unforgiving as to call a company out for a forthright cash grab, but that’s absolutely what Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind is. There’s just no other way to put it. You might find someone in the marketing department for Square-Enix who would disagree, but being a company that has faced just these sorts of allegations for their last two major releases, Square-Enix either doesn’t read the news, or doesn’t care what people think of their products.

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind
Image: Square-Enix

Square-Enix was roundly accused of shipping unfinished products in the case of both Final Fantasy XV and Kingdom Hearts III — their two most high-profile releases of the last decade. I personally gave mostly positive reviews of both games for this very website but if you want ammo to suggest that this company is deliberately trading on the nostalgia and passion of its fan base in order to make financial headway, there are few examples you could draw from that are as obvious as this DLC.

Look, maybe you’re a really big Kingdom Hearts fan. Maybe you just really wanted to know what the context was for that cliffhanger ending in Kingdom Hearts III. Maybe you just don’t do much research before you buy something. Or maybe… you just really trust this company for some reason.

Hey, I’m not judging… hell, I bought this DLC for $40 same as anyone else. I oughta be honest that I’m not reviewing Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind as some holier than thou critic, talking down to you from my position of privilege. No, I’m an angry consumer in this particular case. I’m a person who spent enough to replace a flat tire on my car or buy my family dinner, on a game that is clearly playing off of my love for a franchise, and using it to bilk me out of money in a method that is so clear, and so concise, that those involved in the entire endeavor should be totally embarrassed for their part in the creation, marketing, pricing, and distribution of this expansion.

Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind
Image: Square-Enix

Yes, fans had their complaints about Kingdom Hearts III. “Where are the hardcore boss battles? Where are the Final Fantasy characters? Where are the secret areas? Where are the hidden plot developments?” Still, to address these particular complaints by hammering a few minutes or seconds here and there into already existing content is truly like spitting in the faces of the people who have built the house you’re living in.

I haven’t sat in the board rooms at Square-Enix and I haven’t been in email chains about the planning of projects at their company but what I can say is that there is something rotten in Denmark if this is what passes for a satisfying piece of content for the wildly devoted fans of a hugely popular franchise in 2020. Kingdom Hearts III: Re:Mind is literally, truthfully, and succinctly, the worst piece of DLC I’ve ever purchased.

Mike Worby is a human who spends way too much of his free time playing, writing and podcasting about pop culture. Through some miracle he's still able to function in society as if he were a regular person, and if there's hope for him, there's hope for everyone.

21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. Jack Castle

    January 28, 2020 at 9:44 am

    I knew most fans were stupid, but this is article is an absolute joke.

    • Mike

      January 28, 2020 at 11:48 am

      Maybe some fans are more content to rewatch year old cut scenes with slight changes than others are. Hey man, it’s your money. For my money, I’d prefer new content rather than rehashed things I’ve already watched and already played.

      • Melody

        January 28, 2020 at 3:38 pm

        Considering it added and expanded on things many fans and players were asking for, and added many more hours of fun for those who really want it, seems the article is more the stamping feet of someone who didn’t get their specific headcannon/ideas added, instead of seeing the larger fanbase

        • Mike Worby

          January 28, 2020 at 4:08 pm

          My biggest problem here is the price point. For the asking price, the additions are minuscule. The fan base is being taken shamefully for granted when a DLC this barebones is peddled for such an exorbitant price.

  2. This

    January 28, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    Once more some nerd, who doesn’t know anything about game Dev and calls products unfinished with no knowledge of how insanely expensive and how insanely long it takes to make any game least of all a AAA title, gets clicks because anyone can write anything on the bathroom stall that is the internet. Good job leech.

    • Mike Worby

      January 28, 2020 at 4:11 pm

      I would never think to presume what the development cycle of a game or DLC is like, outside of the reading and watching I’ve done on the process. However, when you consider that this expansion is half the price of what the full game cost, can you honestly say you got your money’s worth here?

  3. Timothy Dolan

    January 28, 2020 at 4:23 pm

    I can whole heatedly say that I picked this DLC up because I heard they were bringing the FF Characters back, and what they gave me has not only killed any desire to pay for any KH game in the future. In fact, this combined with them milking FF7 fans for nostalgia, may be the end of my SquareEnix purchases all together.

    • Mike Worby

      January 28, 2020 at 5:47 pm

      Right there with you. It genuinely makes me skeptical about the FFVII remake I was previously so excited for.

  4. Luke

    January 28, 2020 at 4:55 pm

    Yikes. Just yikes. What about the Scala Ad Caelum expansion? What about the continuation of story content? The work that probably went in to coding, testing and balancing 14 superbosses? Even in these bosses alone, there are callbacks in their movesets to previous Kingdom Hearts titles. What about the creation of new areas via the boss arenas? Playing through this content, you can see the work that SE put into it. Whilst you may not like ReMind (and you are more than entitled to this opinion), as any kind of Kingdom Hearts can you must know how well this DLC has been received. And, instead of having to buy a brand new title as SE has previously done witj the likes of Kingdom Hearts II, we got a cheaper (albeit slightly), DLC package. Your article goes too far.

    As for your comment prior to mine, this was not a ‘rehash’. This built upon what we have already seen and tied in preexisting (and in some cases heavily modified!), cutscenes. I’m going to call creative difference here – I would not have written this article this way, at all. Especially if goombastomp.com is interested in clicks. Stuff like what I said about how movesets incorporate previous attacks should be mentioned and celebrated. Use your journalistic abilities to teach the reader something and draw attention to the article.

    • Mike Worby

      January 28, 2020 at 5:50 pm

      The super bosses, as you call them, are just recorded versions of the enemies fought in the endgame battles of KH3. They’ve just been buffed and altered slightly. As for Scara Ad Caelum, that’s just an expanded version of an area we already played in the base game. And I didn’t say there was no new content, just that 80% of it is recycled.

      • Jenna

        January 28, 2020 at 7:01 pm

        It’s $30 but okay. I do agree that $30 is still a tad expensive but I’ve seen much worse expensive dlc for a tiny bit of content.

        • Mike Worby

          January 28, 2020 at 9:05 pm

          Honestly, if it was $10 I’d be fine with it. That’s a reasonable price for this content. Also, I’m in Canada, and I paid 42.39 for this DLC.

  5. hhhh

    January 28, 2020 at 5:29 pm

    Is this writer high or not, the entire premise of this dlc was to **relive** the story of kh3 through different characters, so it’s a mere similarity rather than a copy. It’s just so bland seeing the main point being misunderstood, causing the creation of a mediocre article

    • Mike Worby

      January 28, 2020 at 5:53 pm

      It’s totally possible to make this DLC while adding in for more new content than this, especially at this high of a price point. Most DLC is priced half of what this is and offers far more new content.

  6. Isaiah

    January 28, 2020 at 8:00 pm

    I get everyone is entitled to their own opinion but the writer must not of of played during the era were Final Mix was released. When Final Mix was released it was re-released at $60, in japanese only, with extended cut scenes, one or two super bosses, and a longer secret ending that’s it! This is exactly what Square Enix has done, not only did they release extended cut-scenes, they added an arching branch where you play as other protagonist from the series. They don’t stop there, they’ve added two new keyblades, 14 super bosses and you can say that it’s recycled but it’s not because the moveset isn’t anywhere close to what is used in the base game, a longer secret ending, and new options that let you create your own customized difficulty. The previous games never did any of that and the few KH games that didn’t even a quarter of that. Critical Mode which was mainly only added to Final Mix was added in as a free update. They practically gave us a version of KH that becomes a Final Mix and then some but this article just sounds like you are bashing SE.

    Now if you want to talk about games that was *actually* shipped half assed or just looking for a cash grab look at Destiny 2, GTA: Online (which everything is practically locked behind shark cards), Player’s Unknown Battleground, No Mans Sky, the new Assassins Creed, and those are just a few.

    But then again this DLC could of been free or incorporated into the game from the jump and included a life free of debt and stress and someone would still find something to complain, be unhappy, or ungrateful about.

  7. Kathy

    January 29, 2020 at 2:26 am

    I’d say this was an amazing deal for a DLC. It’s the first I’ve ever bought and paid an extra few dollars for the concert that was added. I felt the ending to KH3 had a few loose ends. And this DLC gave me so much more than I could have asked for. To be able to see how those lose ends were tied up with this DLC was worth buying it. And having Kauri as playable was great (although I’m personally more of an Aqua fan). And seeing how Roxas returned was once again, one of the many highlights of the game for me. And I loved how they did the group combination attacks. This DLC was very satisfying to me and was worth every dollar I had spent. I would not have spent it if I didn’t love the series as much as I do.

  8. Shae Farmer

    January 29, 2020 at 2:39 am

    That was the whole premise of the DLC in the first place, 90 percent of the KH community are very happy with what they got…

  9. Ms Michelle Stacey

    January 29, 2020 at 6:51 am

    I love it and hate it as i struggle with timing due to my health issues having allready completed the game and bought the dlc im struggaling to get the timing right to finish the last fight cant do constent button mashing or quick reactions and have been a kingdom hearts fan and player from the very first game i love it and all the characters

    • Mike Worby

      January 29, 2020 at 8:29 am

      I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I hope you can get back to a point where you’re able to enjoy games, and life, the way you used to. Best wishes!

  10. Sky Pilgrim

    January 29, 2020 at 7:17 am

    Imagine not understanding what the remind DLC was about because the first half is us GOING THOUGHT WHAT SORA HAD TO GO THROUGH TO FIND AND SAVE KAIRI, we get to play as come characters we could never play as before, have different takes on certain battles, we get a difficult boss rush that is very rewarding to finish and oh hes the DATA GREETING which holy shit people are abusing to make some of the greatest KH memes ive ever seen.

  11. Kisu

    January 29, 2020 at 7:59 am

    If this was the worst dlc you ever purchased then you clearly don’t play video games. Whatever credibility you had before is all gone now, congratulations.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Trending